Updated: Mar 17
With the turn of the Gregorian calendar and such a crazy year behind us setting new goals and dreams is pretty appealing! Here’s my take:
Years ago I had big long term dreams like traveling the world with my then fiancee (now husband of almost 17 years), having a house to host large gatherings and creating a sustainable community. I didn't have specific concrete steps to get there, just beautiful dreams and a conviction it would work out.
And then life happened, I got pregnant with our oldest son much earlier than planned, had another son because we had planned more than one kid and figured we already in it (they've both been good choices!), struggled in our marriage (cause relationships are hard), moved several times because landlords wanted to sell the houses, relocated to Portland, had major financial setbacks and had to get real serious about just eating and paying bills.
In those years of massive challenge big dreams seemed like too much, sometimes it was day by day, month by month.
But day by day, month by month, we focused on building our financial and familial security and brought ourselves to a better place: we’re debt-free and putting away $ for our own house, college/higher schooling saving plans for both of our guys and travel! We got clear on our most important needs, have those covered nicely and have upped our community giving. And we have many more tools for building our dreams.
On the path of struggle, I opened myself to finding a structure of goal setting because it became very clear I needed a strategy more than abundant thinking to reach them -- there are too many bumps in life to just wish things into being, magick takes work!
I feel good about revisiting those big dreams again because now I understand what’s involved with getting here, and I’m actually excited about putting in the work to make them happen. However you do it, it seems to me that a supportive system requires these things:
1. Visioning Time -- I set annual goals for myself when I'm in my First House (mine falls in January so that works well in our Gregorian Time). This is your time to get curious, let your imagination run wild, think about what inspires you, and to check back on your previous year. You also may want to do some releasing and retiring of previous goals, certainly of Limiting Beliefs. Anytime works for this -- great if you like to do it in January, but if that doesn't flow for you, don't sweat it! I've just found flowing with the Moon and my personal astrology works best for me.
2. Dream/Goal/End Point -- Gotta know where you’re going and directing your energy! Can be big or small, far away in time or very near.
3. Reasonable Chunks -- When we were struggling to pay bills dreaming of an island vacation felt self defeating. I focused on getting a job and reducing our expenses so that we could get out of debt and panic mode. Now we’re able to save money and send our kids to cool classes outside of school like circus training and blacksmithing (feeling super Portland right now). And saving money is exactly how we’ll take that vacation. In my annual planning I keep to about 10 goals total covering my personal and professional life that are the next doable steps in reaching my big dreams. Eye on the prize, but also see the pathway!
4. Time Container -- Each New Moon I check back on my Goals and note my progress, or not. I love how this keeps me focused and shows me what I've accomplished. I can also see if there's a trend developing that shows an annual goal may be out of alignment for my big dreams, or not possible in the moment so I can release as needed. In 2020 I had to release the goal of large private bookings and growing my weekly Burlesque class offerings, and totally reformulate to teaching online. Some years I've had to release going on trips because I decided my financial priority was elsewhere. Doesn't matter exactly when you do your regular check ins, just do them.
5. Reflection, Release & Celebration -- It's also important to have a planned time for this. On the Full Moon I release anything that needs to go -- worn out goals, Limiting Beliefs, frustrations, whatever. If it's not nourishing me or my goals and dreams, I honor the learning and let it go. (Do honor the learning!)
Then I list gratitudes for any and everything I can think of, and celebrate accomplishments big, medium and small. I might celebrate specific achievements, awesome personal experiences or things in the world around me. This was especially important when we were really challenged -- sometimes I just appreciated leaves on trees and being able to walk, seriously.
Celebrating the good is incredibly important -- especially small things so we see movement and achievement. Pretty much every big dream you have is going to take a good amount of work to get there, so celebrate and honor all of that work, not just the end result. I think this attention to celebration is part of why I’m excited to get to work this year!
6. Refine & Repeat: As we learn and grow we can refine our goals and dreams and our systems for reaching them. This takes persistence, cause it's often hard and sometimes it really is about just showing up as best you can with what you have in the moment and doing the next right thing. But we do need to keep going in some way toward our goals and big dreams.
7. Be Witnessed: One thing I have learned is that sharing these goals with others who support me helps me stay on track, maintain ownership, celebrate achievements and reflect on my growth and challenges. I’ve done this informally with friends and in formal circles, both are super helpful when done with people who want to see me happy in life. If you don’t have people like this, make getting some one of your goals!
This year one of my goals is to support more women in growing their awesome and ruling their lives. I’m excited to continue this with weekly Burlesque classes and act development series and in Becoming Babelicious, a deep dive into releasing Limiting Beliefs and reconnecting with the power of feminine sensuality. No surprise, in these programs we set goals, offer regular check-ins and tons of celebration -- DM me or comment below if you have questions about Burlesque classes or Becoming Babelicious or want to know more about how I and ShowGirl Temple can build your awesome. Have any goal setting hacks? Please share, we’re so much stronger together! Bling & Blessings and a very Happy New Year whenever yours begins! Eva D'Luscious