I was inspired to go live today because I’ve seen so many posts about quarantine making people fat and that being a bad thing. I was sorta choked with emotion because it bothers me so much, so here’s the written more eloquent version.
What I’m sharing is based on my lived experience as a mother of 2 teens boys rapidly approaching 50.
In my years of teaching Burlesque lots of students have shared how hard it is for them to feel sexy because they are fat, what society deems as too large to be sexy, or not fit enough to be sexy.
But what happens when they start dancing and feeling good changes things. Part of it I’m sure is the endorphins we get from physical movement, part of it is doing movements that are fun and actually feel good within our bodies, and a large part of it is the support we give each other. Those students who go on to perform also get that support from the audiences.
Weight as a matter of physical attraction is a societal construct. Our world has tied body size to desirability in ways that break many women - maybe men too?
Maybe you’ve heard before about how different societies relate to body size and sexuality and even western society appreciated voluptuous bodies at different points in history. We’ve all seen lots of different shapes, sizes and presentations of people happily partnered and/or having fulfilling sexual lives — magazine model bodies aren’t the only thing many of us find hot!
Thinness as a measure of being attractive is made up by companies, those that want to sell us on anything that might do anything about weight, and our society glorifies thin bodies, while hiding fat or even slightly larger bodies. This entirely skips over the relationship of health.
Thinness doesn’t equal healthy or fit there are plenty or eating disorders and body issues to attest to that. I can personally attest to being thin, and not having a healthy lifestyle that supports my emotional well being.
One of the things I love most about Burlesque is how it celebrates lots of body shapes, sizes and presentations. And finally being supported for who you are where you are, and encouraged in feeling sexy in your body is life changing!
I have noticed dancers’ bodies change over time of dancing because they are working their muscles and moving in ways that feel good, actual fitness. But the biggest changes I see are in their shining faces, and how much they enjoy dancing and want to share it with others.
Feeling good in yourself is the most attractive thing!!
Side note — when you feel good in yourself you don’t have such a burning need for someone else to fill you up, and if you do meet someone they will be seeing the real you, feeling good about you, and connect with you on that level — how wonderful!!!
That’s the Body Magick we talk about in ShowGirl Temple - using movement to connect with our sensuality and feeling that incredible energy spread through and beyond us.
If you’ve been feeling like this I’d love for you to join us sometime, somewhere in ShowGirl Temple. And if this isn’t the space for you I send you much in finding the perfect space to feel good in your body, where it is, right now and connect with loving, positive energy.
PS - I do not encourage attacking people who are making these posts. They are responding to years of shame being heaped on them, and adding more won’t help. I’m sending them love for a shift that supports their body love and happiness too!